Casa Barka…A.K.A. Hell Hotel
I thought I was being clever when I booked a stay at Casa Barka in Playa del Carmen for my five-night solo adventure. It was close to the hotel where the travel conference, Women’s Travel Fest, was being held—5 minutes away, in fact—while the fancy hotel was charging a small fortune for their “luxury” rooms. I figured I could make do with a little less luxury, right? And as they say.....location, location, location. Big mistake. Huge. 😬
I opted for the “studio,” which promised a private bathroom, separate bedroom, and a kitchen/living room. The perfect setup to save money by having breakfasts in my room. At least that was the plan.....but the picture perfect brochure, met the reality of ‘wait, what?'😲
I really should've taken pictures to document this, but honestly, I was too emotionally scarred to even think about it. My brain was still processing the horror show, and my camera was the last thing on my mind!
Online photos of my studio......
Not bad........You'd stay here, right?
Bathroom Blues (and Every Shade of Gross)
Let’s talk about the bathroom, shall we? The hot water state of affairs? Nonexistent. The water pressure? Barely a drizzle. Showering was like trying to water a plant with a squirt bottle. It took me 45 minutes just to wash my hair and, at that rate, I considered giving up and just going to the conference with dirty hair like some kind of rebellious wild child. 🚿 And as the days went on, the pressure got worse and worse. I thought it was a challenge from the universe at one point, just to see how much I could endure. (Spoiler: not much.) Oh, and the toilet? Yeah, it had a hard time flushing anything more than a couple of sheets of toilet paper. But hey, it was clean.🧹👏
Lavish marble....where? What there was: cracked and missing bathroom tiles, so I was forced to wear flip-flops in the shower like I was at a public pool, avoiding some mysterious, probably dangerous substance that could have easily been a part of a DIY horror movie set.😱
Towel situation, and what’s that? A towel. A towel. Singular. A hand towel, to be exact. Yes, you heard me right. Not a bath towel. Not a fluffy set of towels fit for royalty. No, this was a hand towel. The kind of towel you use to dry your hands after washing them, not to dry your whole body after an epic shower session.
Security? What Security?
As for the hotel's security, well, let’s just say the gate had a push-button access system... that didn’t work. Maybe it was for show? I’m not sure, but I made my peace with sneaking in like a really bad spy every time I came back.
The Bedroom That Wasn’t Quite Dreamy
Alright, let’s dive into the bedroom situation. Stained pillowcases. And I don’t mean “just a little” stained, I’m talking about a look that says, 'We may have seen some things, but we’re still holding it together, kinda'. They smelled ‘clean,’ courtesy of an overly ambitious detergent, but the scent couldn’t mask the history they had witnessed….Yick! 🤮The sheets? They were so thin, you could practically see through them—like a ghost story, but with a bed instead of haunted objects. And the pillows so thin—like pancakes that had been left out too long and hardened to the point where they could have doubled as frisbees.🥞
I had an AC unit that had one temperature, Arctic Circle. Since it was hotter than the sun outside, I kept the AC on, and since there was only one sheet and no blanket, I ended up wearing almost all the clothes I packed just to avoid freezing to death in my own bed.🥶
Hmm, and the noise? Lord have mercy! Senor Frog’s Bar was right across the street and apparently their policy was “turn it up to 11” until 3 a.m. The music was so loud that the sliding glass doors to the balcony were shaking like they were at a heavy metal concert. I’m not sure if I was at a hotel or the front row of a mosh pit. Every five minutes, all you could hear was “Drink! Drink! Drink!” 🍺 Ear plugs….why bother? Who needs sleep when you’re attending a multiple-day conference? Haha.
The Kitchen That Wasn’t
Now, let’s chat about the “kitchen,” shall we? Or lack thereof……According to the listing, it had a microwave, cookware, dishes, and utensils. Yeah, no. What it actually had was a coffee maker (but only until I requested it) that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in a decade. I had to run infinite cycles of water through it, just to make it 'safe" to have hot water for coffee and oatmeal in the morning. The stove? Two burners that didn't work. But hey, at least the mini fridge worked.
Oh, and the so-called the utensils and pans? Oh, they must’ve left those at the spa...which I can only assume they never built. What was there were two glasses, a mug and a bowl…..and utensils, um, no. Thank you, trusty travel fork, for saving me from having to gnaw my food like an animal!
WiFi That Never Was
Ah, the sweet allure of "free WiFi" — that sacred offering from hotels that promises to keep you connected to the outside world during your travels. The moment I checked into my hotel, I was told: “WiFi is available throughout the property!” Well, I don’t know if they meant “throughout” as in “throughout the lobby” or “throughout the property’s dreams. ” If there’s anything I learned, it’s that "free WiFi" is like a unicorn — beautiful, magical, and very, very hard to find. 🦄
Sewer Smells and Water Woes
On the fourth night, I woke up to the most ungodly stench emanating from the bathroom — talk about a full-on sewer situation. It was all I could do to get up and shut the door to avoid choking on the fumes. 🦨 I considered calling it a day and booking a flight home right now, but no, I was committed. The next morning? Water was completely kaput. No shower, no flushing, no washing my hands after the smell of doom had filled the room. Who cares about having hot water at this point?
Cue the dramatic pause.....that was the straw that broke the camel’s back……time for a situation upgrade. I don’t know how I lasted four days, but somehow, I did.😧
“Una Noche Más?” Hell No.
When I was checking out and handing the key over to the receptionist, who only spoke Spanish, she looked confused and asked, " Una noche más?" I answered, “No más, no más!” There was no way in hell I was staying another night at Casa Barka. Nope—only if hell froze over……I took my chances and fled.😨
Enter: Paradise
Thank the travel gods I found a new place—it may not be as close, but it's still budget-friendly and a huge upgrade! La Pasion Hotel Boutique. Adults-only. Pools. Hot Tubs. Roof top bar with pool cabanas and a panoramic view of the city. It was like stepping into the Garden of Eden after my Casa Barka hellscape. The room? Amazing! Private bathroom, a balcony overlooking the courtyard with TWO swimming pools. It was like I had been transported to some kind of luxurious oasis where hot water flowed freely, and the air was… peaceful.😍🤩
The bathroom was basically a five-star spa – free toiletries galore! Shampoo, conditioner, soap, body wash, lotion, Q-tips, cotton balls – the whole shebang. Honestly, I would’ve taken the little bottles home if I wasn’t limited by my carry-on and the TSA’s liquid rules (but hey, you’ve gotta follow the rules… or do you?). There was a hair dryer, towels so plush they could be classified as bedspreads, and enough of them to make a towel fort. And don’t even get me started on the soaking tub – it was like a mini-Jacuzzi for one, minus the bubbles and romance. This was the first time in 5 days that I got to enjoy hot water and a real shower with water pressure. It was pure bliss!🥳
The bed was the stuff of dreams—down duvet, premium sheets, fluffy pillows galore, king-sized, four-post. Even Hershey’s Kisses on the bed. I took one look and realized I hadn’t felt this comfortable in days. After ‘Hell Hotel', it was like I’d been transported to a luxury resort. Had the best night’s sleep before the next day’s flight back home—well, as good as sleep can be when you're still wondering if you’ll make your flight on standby.
Breakfast Fit for a Queen
Oh, and breakfast? Only ten bucks at the cute little cafe next-door because I was a guest at the boutique hotel. Not too shabby....coffee, fruit plate, Mexican omelet with toast and refried black beans. It was the best breakfast I had eaten in Playa Del Carmen.😋 How could something so simple, like a delicious meal, make you almost forgot about the horrors of Hell Hotel? At least I could say my time in Playa del Carmen ended on a high note.🎶
So, yeah, a complete 180 from the first hotel. The moral of the story? When a hotel says “studio” with “full kitchen,” they don’t always mean full kitchen. And if you ever find yourself at Casa Barka, just remember to pack air freshener, a sense of humor, and maybe a hazmat suit! 🤪